How to Crush Your Wedding Planning: A Groom’s Perspective
Our friend who recently married, gave us some great insights into wedding planning from the groom’s perspective. We’re sharing his experience, so you can crush the wedding planning.
Weddings aren’t easy.
With my wife and I both working full-time jobs, finding the time to plan the wedding was far more demanding than anticipated. I spent a lot of my Sunday nights pretending to like centerpiece arrangements on Pinterest when I would’ve rather been watching football.
Planning the wedding did take some effort, but in the end, it was all worth it. I definitely learned some lessons along the way and wanted to share them with you – man to man.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
Odds are, your future wife has a drastically different approach to planning a wedding.
For example, she may have a definite opinion on what accent color her bouquet should incorporate. And while you probably don’t care about these small details, they could mean everything to her.
The important thing to remember is to be sincere and helpful. Sometimes it’s okay to just nod your head and say yes because it makes her happy. Some battles are worth letting her win. Other times, she just genuinely wants your opinion. It’s your wedding, too – don’t be afraid to share.
Remember – happy wife, happy life.
Be Open-Minded and Realistic
On the practical side of things, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of setting expectations.
While she might think spending $500 dollars on a cake topper that is a “picturesque” mini version of you two is a great idea, you might think otherwise. Would she be okay if you spent $500 on tickets to your favorite basketball game with your buddies? Probably not.
Set aside time to think of every imaginable aspect of a wedding and talk about how important each aspect is, and whether it is negotiable.
Start with the budget so you know exactly how much to allocate toward the reception, flowers, etc. You may discover new things about each other, like your preference or dislike for certain songs or food.
There are aspects of a wedding that you most likely haven’t even considered until you realize it conflicts with your future wife’s expectations. Try to be open minded no matter what.
Write Your Vows Ahead of Time
If you’re writing your own vows, be sure to do it ahead of time.
The last thing you want is for you to ramble on during the ceremony with “uhs” and awkward pauses, especially if her vows knock it out of the park.
And don’t start your vows with, “Webster’s Dictionary defines love as…” – that’s too much of a cliché.
Instead take this moment to make your bride feel appreciated and prized. Share your favorite memories. Let her know what you look forward to in the future. It’s the small details that will resonate most.
Wrangle Your Groomsmen
Don’t add additional stress to your future wife’s day with a rowdy group of old college buddies you’ve asked to be your groomsmen.
Have fun reminiscing about the good ol’ days and throwing back a beer or two, but keep in mind, you each have a duty to perform.
Missing socks or cufflinks can easily be missed. It’s best to avoid the last-minute scramble to walk down the aisle. Talk with your groomsmen to set expectations and define responsibilities.
Sometimes compromising can be hard.
Knowing up front what yours and your future wife’s non-negotiables are will allow you to start the planning with these in mind. It also allows you to work out any compromises early on as opposed to discovering a non-negotiable after putting forth the effort, time, and money.
Fortunately, our non-negotiables were the same. The wedding venue had to be ideal. Not just for us, but for our guests, too.
Our wedding was in July, so having an indoor, comfortable, and accommodating venue was essential. Our venue was exceptionally helpful through the entire process, especially the day of the wedding. They coordinated details with our vendors we hadn’t even thought of and didn’t charge us extra for it.
One more thing, do not plan to sleep in or play golf the day before the wedding. There will be approximately 100 things on your to do list….finish strong.
For more wedding insight, check out the Mother-of-the-bride’s tips here.